As a little girl, I knew that I was destined for royalty. The idea of NOT growing up to be a princess was just absurd. I imagined a handsome foreign prince, inexplicably wandering through our small Texas town, kicking up dust and squashing evil fire ants with his expensive shoes. That is where he would happen upon me, the love of his life, his soul mate. He would whisk me away to his palace, lavish me with jewels and the finest clothing, feed me pate, caviar, fine wines, and other foods I had never actually seen, let alone eaten.
Now, thirty-something years later, it’s happened. I DO live a life of royalty! I’m guessing that you do as well, if you just stretch your imagination a bit. If not, please allow me to enlighten you with five simple ways to live like royalty:
1. I have an abundant collection of jewels, and you can too. My jewelry box overflows with rings, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. Some were lovingly purchased by my daughter from the 25 cent machine at the grocery store. Many were handmade especially for me: braided friendship bracelets and thoughtfully designed necklaces. All of these jewels, meticulously made by tiny hands, are worth more than the Hope Diamond and the Crown Jewels combined.
2. We dine like royalty. Sort of. Instead of pate, we have peanut butter. Instead of caviar, we have frozen fish sticks. Instead of fine wines, we have kool-aid. But it’s still a feast of royal proportions! Oh, who am I kidding – it does usually include wine… does “fine” wine come in a box?
3. I am entertained daily by fabulously talented court jesters:
4. I reign over my kingdom. What mom does not? Truly, nothing more needs to be said here…
5. Finally, what good is a royal life if it does not come with a crown? So, to complete my journey to a royal life, I will be getting my very own crown! My crown will not be made of gold or silver, nor will it be adorned with diamonds, rubies, or emeralds. Instead, my crown will come to me courtesy of my dentist and his horrific whirring gadgets and menacing stabbing needles. Wondering how you can get a crown of your own? It’s simple! Just grind your teeth together relentlessly until one of them finally succumbs to the pressure and cracks. Voila! Your very own crown!
Tonight, my valiant prince will ride up to our castle on his gleaming white steed named Honda Accord. He will tell me of his day spent battling the vicious dragons named Strep Throat, Pink Eye, and Rocks Up Nose. After listening attentively to the tales of his heroic deeds, I’ll wrap my arms around him and thank him for this royal life I lead.
And then, I’ll apologize in advance for next week when I’ll compare my house to a loony bin and myself to the lead orderly. Or, perhaps, the patient?
Your Turn: How do YOU live a royal life?
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Sincerely,
Christi
That’s looking at the upside of things! Great inspiration!
Simple: I’m the Queen!
Oh, and those are the cutest court jesters EVER.
Julie @ mamamash recently posted..The Pythagorean Theorem in real life
Hahaha!! Oh, yes, we live a life of royalty too! That really sucks about the crown though…I’m not a fan of dental work, although I do like the laughing gas
Runnermom-jen recently posted..The Funeral…
Oh, I would rather they just knock me unconscious for the whole darn thing!
Most adorable court jesters! And yes, we are the queens around here!
Kimberly recently posted..Blog Boycott Day
I like the way you think!
I’m the Queen Bee, didn’t you hear?
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..#BlogBoycottDay
It’s all about perspective isn’t it? And I love yours!
I am the ruler of my fair land. The Queen of all Queen’s. I am raising (well trying to) three princes. My royal court includes two furry animals. I’m blessed, but could really use a Queen’s Maid.
Hopes@StayingAfloat! recently posted..Branching Out With a Little Bird
Well, fortunately for me, one of those adorable court jesters sometimes fills in as the Queen’s Maid as well, but never without a good deal of whining and moaning…
This was very cute. I am the queen of my household. Although I’m still waiting for someone to feed me grapes and fan me when the weather is hot.
Jessica recently posted..My War Story
Maybe that should be a vlog topic. Just a video of husband and kids fanning us and feeding us grapes. They might do it if they knew it was an “assignment”.
You are definitely on to something here! I too am the queen of my domain (both on and off line!). I love the way you write, Christi. You’re always such a treat to see in my inbox.
I’m with Jessica, I too am waiting for someone to feed me grapes and fan me!!
Eve recently posted..#BlogBoycottDay: I Tweet, Therefore I am
aww, thanks Eve! I think we need to convince Jessica to make it a vlogtalk topic one week. Not a topic per se, but a task: just a video of us being treated like the queens that we are! hehe
Hi! We love the photo of the crown and would like to use it for a commercial purpose. Do you know who owns it and how to contact them? Thanks!