Mealtimes are the bane of my existence. I sometimes feel like 75% of my time revolves around food. I grocery shop. I prepare a meal. I feed my children. I clean up the mess.
Yesterday, the process of feeding my children took almost 2 hours – just for breakfast!
Perhaps you’re wondering how it could possibly take so long?
Here’s how:
- Breastfeed the baby.
- Place baby in high chair for “real breakfast”.
- Begin making scrambled eggs for myself and the big kid.
- Console baby who is screaming in protest that she is not yet being fed.
- Prepare rice cereal with fruit for the screaming baby.
- Stir the eggs.
- Stir the rice cereal.
- Feed the baby 3 bites of rice cereal.
- Return to eggs so as not to burn them.
- Ask the big kid to please feed her screaming sister.
- Fix plates of scrambled eggs.
- Eat while still feeding the baby.
- Gasp with surprise that baby has eaten ALL the rice cereal and still screams for more. Holy bottomless stomach Batman, this kid can eat!
- Cut up more fruit for baby and throw it on her tray so that she can feed herself, thus allowing me to finish eating my own food.
- Once the fruit is all gone and the baby clearly STILL wants to eat, throw the rest of my scrambled eggs on to her tray, followed by a few handfuls of Cheerios.
- Finally decide to stop feeding baby before her tiny body spews forth a milky geyser of eggfruiteerio cereal.
- Let wiggly baby out of the confining high chair so that she might play.
- Wash the baby’s hands and face. And sometimes her elbows, knees, toes, ears, and hair, depending on the scope of the mess.
- Clean the high chair, tray, and table.
- Remove a crusty chunk of scrambled egg seasoned with floor dirt from the baby’s hands. Hastily sweep up the remaining egg and dried fruit detritus before more are confiscated by the crawling garbage disposal.
- Ask the big kid to please play with her sister so I can clean up breakfast.
- Load the dishwasher.
- Notice a certain oh-so-recognizable stench coming from the cute little patootie. Properly dispose of that hazardous waste while big kid observes and provides commentary on size, color, consistency, and overall grossness.
- Wash my hands.
- Put away the leftovers, salt & pepper, and other fixin’s.
- Wash off the counter tops.
So, there you have it. A two hour breakfast in our house. Sometimes, by the time breakfast is actually cleaned up, it’s time for lunch, and the entire process starts all over. It’s those times when I ask myself the following questions:
How in the world do working moms do it?
Would it be a bad idea to get a dog just to keep the floor food to a minimum?
Could we afford to eat out every meal if we only ordered from the dollar menu?
Readers, you’ve read about a typical meal in my house, now I ask you to share your wisdom: What am I doing wrong? Please enlighten me! How do you deal with meal times in your house? Any tips as I am seemingly inept at feeding my children in a timely manner?
Ah, the battle of mealtimes.
I am a failed mealtime warrior. I used to be able to put the toddler in his high chair and feed him, in and out, 15 minutes. At about a year old, he started resisting the chair. And my in laws who have him for dinner every day gave in to his demands, so he stopped going in there.
He has his breakfast in the bathtub. Yes, the bathtub. He’s so distracted by the water, he’ll open his mouth for anything, plus messes are immediately washed off! Lunch, he sits on the sofa, watching Elmo while I feed him. Dinner, he eats half his meal in the chair, the other half, in the inflatable pool, while he plays. He then gets one last snack (milk+fruit) before bedtime and yes, he eats that in the bathtub again. Throughout the day, he snacks when he’s playing, running around. The kid never sits down for a meal. We are doomed.
He however, does get the meals down quickly, 20 minutes at most. Distraction is usually the key.
I do only have one child though! Maybe your oldest can help a little more? Fix her own breakfast, do her own dishes?
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: Words in a Picture
The bathtub?! That’s hilarious. I really should enlist the oldest one’s help more often. When she whines about it, I’ll just tell her all my bloggy friends made me.
Hi Love, it’s your husband here. Such well-written food prose just makes my mouth water. While you’re in the kitchen anyway…is my breakfast ready? (Note: I am joking. Mother/Blogger pack, please do not harm me.)
how ’bout a knuckle sandwich, dear?
I don’t have kids but do specialize in efficiency. Put the cut up fruit and cheerios on the baby’s tray at the beginning so she can self feed while you prepare the stuff that needs to be cooked and/or spooned in to her. Also, get a dog.
Angel recently posted..What Freelancers Should Know About Google Plus
Quite true Angel – you are possibly the most efficient person I know. Letting her self feed first makes sense, but the problem I’ve run in to is that once she starts eating cheerios or fruit, then I can’t get her to eat anything else. Perhaps I just need her finger food to be something like nasty ass mushrooms or brussel sprouts.
Your husband cracks me up!
I would agree that letting baby self-feed first helps. I normally come downstairs, put the baby in his seat with some Cheerios, cook breakfast, feed baby anything he can’t self-feed, then put him down to play in the gated living room while I clean up. It does an hour, but that’s one hour closer to nap time!
Julie @ mamamash recently posted..Oh, what a wonderful year!
After he has started with Cheerios, will he switch to something else? Once mine has had a taste of Cheerios, aka Manna from Heaven, then she doesn’t want anything else.
I stay in bed while my oldest makes her own breakfast and has to do her own dishes. Then when the youngest wakes up I have my oldest feed her breakfast. Although my youngest is 2 so she is not nursing anymore.
Jessica recently posted..Twitter Challenges
That’s awesome! Maybe I’ll just ship my oldest out to you for a while so you can whip her in to shape for me. Instead of Wife Swap, we could work out some sort of Kid Swap.
Sounds like a typical breakfast here, too. And yes, by the time I’m finished cleaning up from b-fast, the wee ones are already asking for more food! It’s never ending! Meal times and bedtime are my absolute least favorite times of the day. Such a time suck.
Karin recently posted..Life on the Other End
This is no different than meal times in my house. I’ve learned to give up with them though. I’ve gotten to the point where if they aren’t eating then they’re obviously not hungry enough. If they want to get down from the table, I let them. I avoid tantrums that way. I guess that’s bad but when they’re hungry, they’ll eat.
Kimberly recently posted..I Am Enough
Oh my gosh, i can so relate!! I might as well just live in the kitchen
Runnermom-jen recently posted..These Shoes
Once my kids were adroit enough to get any amount of food to their own mouths, I didn’t feed them any more. If you can dump small pieces of whatever on the tray and be confident that the baby can pick it up and put it in the right place, then let her do it. If you have time to sit down, give her a spoon and a bowl with something sticky in it, like cream of wheat with melted cheese, and help her scoop. It won’t fall off the spoon.
A dog would be useful too.
Sharyn recently posted..Fanfare For The Winner
While your baby in nursing, I can’t imagine any way around the 2 hour meal unless the baby is strapped on and hanging from your boob while you cook, eat, and throw some morsels down her way. I wish I could offer some wise advice, but I suck at this whole meal thing. I can say that as a working mother with two young kids, I’ve no resorted to quick pre-made/store prepared meals or a combo of microwavable stuff plus veggies/fruits. I probably should hang my head in shame but we all gotta survive somehow until they’re old enough to feed themselves or at least stop whining about it, right?
Kid Id recently posted..Children are Terrible Liars, Especially When Their Parents Suck