Yesterday, the process of feeding my children took almost 2 hours – just for breakfast!
Perhaps you’re wondering how it could possibly take so long?
- Breastfeed the baby.
- Place baby in high chair for “real breakfast”.
- Begin making scrambled eggs for myself and the big kid.
- Console baby who is screaming in protest that she is not yet being fed.
- Prepare rice cereal with fruit for the screaming baby.
- Stir the eggs.
- Stir the rice cereal.
- Feed the baby 3 bites of rice cereal.
- Return to eggs so as not to burn them.
- Ask the big kid to please feed her screaming sister.
- Fix plates of scrambled eggs.
- Eat while still feeding the baby.
- Gasp with surprise that baby has eaten ALL the rice cereal and still screams for more. Holy bottomless stomach Batman, this kid can eat!
- Cut up more fruit for baby and throw it on her tray so that she can feed herself, thus allowing me to finish eating my own food.
- Once the fruit is all gone and the baby clearly STILL wants to eat, throw the rest of my scrambled eggs on to her tray, followed by a few handfuls of Cheerios.
- Finally decide to stop feeding baby before her tiny body spews forth a milky geyser of eggfruiteerio cereal.
- Let wiggly baby out of the confining high chair so that she might play.
- Wash the baby’s hands and face. And sometimes her elbows, knees, toes, ears, and hair, depending on the scope of the mess.
- Clean the high chair, tray, and table.
- Remove a crusty chunk of scrambled egg seasoned with floor dirt from the baby’s hands. Hastily sweep up the remaining egg and dried fruit detritus before more are confiscated by the crawling garbage disposal.
- Ask the big kid to please play with her sister so I can clean up breakfast.
- Load the dishwasher.
- Notice a certain oh-so-recognizable stench coming from the cute little patootie. Properly dispose of that hazardous waste while big kid observes and provides commentary on size, color, consistency, and overall grossness.
- Wash my hands.
- Put away the leftovers, salt & pepper, and other fixin’s.
- Wash off the counter tops.
So, there you have it. A two hour breakfast in our house. Sometimes, by the time breakfast is actually cleaned up, it’s time for lunch, and the entire process starts all over. It’s those times when I ask myself the following questions:
How in the world do working moms do it?
Would it be a bad idea to get a dog just to keep the floor food to a minimum?
Could we afford to eat out every meal if we only ordered from the dollar menu?
Readers, you’ve read about a typical meal in my house, now I ask you to share your wisdom: What am I doing wrong? Please enlighten me! How do you deal with meal times in your house? Any tips as I am seemingly inept at feeding my children in a timely manner?