As a stay-at-home mom who spends her days changing diapers, napping whenever possible, and regularly speaking in high-pitched, sing-songy baby talk, I sometimes think I can actually feel individual brain cells shrivel up and die. I’ll take intellectual stimulation wherever I can get it, including from this blog, my virtual time-out chair.

photo credit: Lou Bueno

From my perch in the captain’s chair of the Swagger Wagon, I can hear the whispers from the far-away back seat. Raging Storm and Wild Tail, two of the most daring and spirited Warriors of all the clans, are participating in one of the most sacred traditions: the naming ceremony.

I am entertained by their imagination and creativity as we sit in the traffic jam. From their window, they observe the large group of impatient foot-tapping, clock-watching, bus stop regulars.

“He will henceforth be known as Sun Beard.”

I scan the crowd until zeroing in on a large teddy bear of a man with a bright orange beard.

“And he shall be called Smoke Breath.”

Yep, I found him too.

“And to her, I bestow the name Angry Cloud.”

Hmmmm, I’m not sure who they’re referring to here.  To me, they all seem to look angry, grumpy, or otherwise unhappy, perhaps because they’re most likely from the nearby half-way house, possibly on their way to a meeting with a parole officer, a counselor, or some other court-ordered task.

The naming ceremony continues as we proceed home and new people appear and immediately become objects of further scrutiny:  “Bushy Tail.  Ink Back.  Pale Fur.  Bramble Pelt.”

Their conversation has me wondering.  What might my Warrior name be?  And do I dare ask?  I recall the last moniker bestowed upon me by these impish felines:  Bulging Belly.  Of course, I was eight months pregnant at the time.  Surely I deserve a new, less offensive Warrior name now?  So, I steel myself for their response and I ask the question.

I am pleased with the answer:  “You need a pretty name, so I think you shall be called Morning Light.”

But then:  “No, she’s not very nice in the morning.  How about Morning Storm?”

Well, at least it’s better than Bulging Belly.

There are lessons to be learned from these two observant little Warriors and their naming ceremony:  Mind your manners.  Smile.  Be friendly and helpful.  Don’t swear around little kids.  Brush your hair and your teeth.  For you too might be unknowingly under surveillance, if not by my little Warrior or her Warrior friends, then by an equally observant little Batman, Princess, Spiderman, Dragon, or Tinkerbell.

After all, what would you want your Warrior name to be?  What Warrior name might your children bestow upon you?

  4 Responses to “Beware… The Warriors Are Watching You”

  1. I could have used your advice soem time ago. My name is Mommy Potty Mouth…..Shit!

  2. I would be lucky if my 3 called me Morning Storm. Right now it would be Angr Bear since it’s 11pm and the youngest won’t go to sleep, argh! Note if I could give my daughters names…. The 17 yo would be Knows It All, the 8 yo Rambuncious Diva, and the 3 yo Stretching Mommy’s Last Nerve!

  3. Great comments! Well, we already know my oldest is Raging Storm. I think the baby could be Lady Poopsalot.

  4. This is great! I love to hear my girls think of the names for their new stuffed animals. They can be totally clever at times, and at other times, totally unoriginal. As far as a name for me? Well, my youngest would call me Perpetual Ponytail Princess because for some reason she thinks I wear it in a ponytail too much. Who me? The mom who saves a lot of time each day by using the good old pony tail holder instead of the long drawn out shower and blow dry? My youngest says, “When you pick me up from school, could you wear your hair down?” How sad is that?

    My oldest could call me Muffins O Plenty. Thank Goodness, not because of the bit of muffin top I have going on, but because we constantly make homemade muffins together. She is into creating her own recipes now. She could be called Muffin Maker Risk Taker, perhaps. I always follow the recipe. How boring am I?

    I love your clever and witty insights, Christi! You bring out the best parts of being a mom that we often overlook in the busy routines of the day. Thank you for the fresh eyes and hilarious insights!


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